Take Good Care Of My Heart
by MyFriendIrene
Summary: Kurt has a confession for Blaine, but appearances are deceiving. Just when Kurt needs him tho most, Blaine misreads everything.  "Take good care of my heart, you're the only one who can break it"  Whitney Houston
1. Chapter 1

Take Good Care Of My Heart

A/N: AU where Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends studying in New York. For the rating I'm thinking M, but because of the next chapters, not this one.

Dedicated to Helen! Because she's awesome! :)

Enjoy!

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><p><span>Chapter One:<span>

-Hi! What are you doing here? I thought we weren't meeting until lunch today.

Blaine was so exited to see his boyfriend he didn't notice how awful Kurt looked at first.

-I know. I'm sorry, I just... we-we need to talk... -It was said with a tone that made Blaine shiver. What was happening? Or better yet, what had happened?

-Okay... -He answered. Already sure he wasn't going to like this.

Blaine led the way to the couch and the boys sat down in silence. The longest silence in the history of silences if you ask Blaine.

-Kurt? -He asked finally.

-Remember my friend Gabriel? -Kurt blurted out in a rush. Almost afraid he would chicken out if he didn't start talking now.

-Yeah. -How could Blaine ever forget him. That guy used to hit on Kurt.

-Well he asked me to go with him to this new gay bar in Greenwich Village lastnight-

-Oh... -Why hadn't Kurt told him about this? Was he... hidding something from him? This conversation was definitely making him think so.

-The... the reason I didn't tell you about this was because he actually asked me not to. He wanted a "guys night out" with me, because we haven't been seeing each other much lately and...

-It's okay... I understand -And he really did. He wasn't about to tell Kurt what to do or not to do with his friends. Everybody has a life, boyfriend or not.

-Um... thanks. Anyway... we were there, chatting, catching up and then a man started to hit on Gabriel, and after a moment he excused himself and toot off with this guy.  
>And so I was finishing my drink to go home, because being in a bar, by mayself, isn't really my idea of fun.<p>

-I know... watching re-runs of Project Runway is always the best way to spent a friday night in New York City, right? -Blaine hoped that a joke would losen Kurt up a little. Because if things kept this tense he didn't think he could handle whatever it was that his boyfrind was trying to tell him.

-Right -Kurt replied awkwardly, clearly not in the mood for jokes right now. This was so tough! How was he going to go through this?

-And then? -Blaine asked unsure.

-And as I was about to leave... this guy came up to me and we started talking until he asked if I wanted to dance. I... I was up to a boring night at home so I thought a little dance wouldn't hurt. We... we were having a good time, just dancing and talking...

Another breath-taking silence, but definitely not in the good way, and this time Blaine thought he might as well die if Kurt didn't start talking soon.

-And all of a sudden he grabbed my arm and dragged me to a side of the dance floor and... and... pushed me up against the wall and... and... and he started... k-kissing me and I... I just...

And Kurt couldn't talk anymore. Tears were pouring down his face non-stop. Blaine was speachless. He stared at his boyfriend with parted lips. Was this really happening? Kurt... cheating? Why? Why? Why?

-You... you kiss him? -His voice was trembling and so low he wasn't sure he had actually spoken.

-I'm so sorry, Blaine... I... had had several drinks and I couldn't think well, and couldn't react to what was happening and I just, I tried to stop him, I really did, but he kept going, more... intence everytime and...

Kurt could barely manage to speak. All he could think about were those hands, holding his wrists against the wall. Why hadn't he pull away at that moment? What was wrong with him? But there was something intoxicating about that guy. He couldn't bring himself to describe it. All he remembered was feeling his willpower vanish from his body. Those drinks... was there something in them?

-Kurt... I... you...

-I'm so sorry Blaine! He kept pressing me against the wall and then he... he... oh God, Blaine he... he...

Before he could stop himself, Blaine lost it.

-What, Kurt? What else did you do? Huh? Did you blow him? Did he fuck you?

And Kurt broke into uncontrolable sobs at his boyfriend's words. Blaine just stared at him for a moment. This was too much. Kurt? Sleeping with someone else? How? Why? This hurted so badly. Hell, this hurted more than anything he could remember.

-Just... Why? Why, Kurt? I thought you loved me... you SAID you loved me!

-I do! Oh God, Blaine, I do! More than anything in this world! Just... please... let me explain! -Kurt was begging now.

-What can you explain, Kurt? You slept with him! -Blaine was yelling at him. So angry he could barely recognise him. Another round of sobs that Kurt couldn't contain. Even tough we wanted-he needed to TALK...

-It... Please, Blaine... It's not what you think! Just... please listen to me!

-Not what I think? Kurt! You cheated on me! How can you explain that? -Blaine wanted to control himself, but he couldn't help it. He was so angry and hurt and just wanted to cry... And that's when he realized he was already crying.

-Please, Blaine... No...

-Really, Kurt! How could you do this to me? To US?

-Please, no... He... he...

-What, Kurt? What could justify you ruining what we had? -Did he just say "had"?

-...please...

-Did he talk into it? What, Kurt? Tell me! Or did he force you to have sex with him? Did he?

Kurt just started crying more desperately. And with that Blaine stormed out of the apartment. Kurt kept crying for a few more moments until he said, so brokenly between sobs...

-Yes...

...

Blaine had no idea where he was going but he couldn't stop walking. Even though his brain was telling him to just throw himself to the ground and cry until his eyes were dry, his whole body was begging to move, to walk, _to run. _Maybe this way he could escape, or hide, or forget.

Kurt.

His mind was rushing with images of the other boy. Touching, kissing. Touched, kissed.

Why? The only question on his mind.

He thought Kurt loved him. He had been as sure about that as he was sure of his own love for Kurt.

Everything he once thought he knew collapsed right in front of him.

Had they broken up? Would he had to _break up_ with Kurt now? He wasn't sure he could. Yes, he was angry at him. But most of all, he was hurt. He felt betrayed, abandoned, forgotten, unloved. And Kurt's love was all he needed. All he had, actually. His parents? He hadn't seen them in months. Other friends? They all lived so far away. Kurt was his whole world. _Had been _his whole world. How are you supposed to move on from nowhere? How do you rebuilt from nothing? How do you heal what belongs to someone else?

Blaine returned to his apartament but Kurt had left, in so many ways. They didn't live together but there were always some of Kurt's things there. All gone. Only a note on the table:

_Blaine,_

_Please call me. I need to talk to you, you can't  
>imagine how badly I do.<em>

_I hope you know how much I love you._

_Kurt_


	2. Chapter 2

Take Good Care Of My Heart

A/N: This chapter starts as a flashback to Kurt's night at the gay bar, and if you read the last chapter you all know what that means...

WARNING: This chapter contains a rape. Nothing too graphic, I promise! But if you're very sensitive about this kind of things, skip the first part of the chapter and just imagine how that night went...

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><p><span>Chapter Two<span>

"So we went there and everybody else had already left! And we had to sleep in the car that night and wait for someone to pick us up the next day!" Gabriel always had the funniest stories! Too bad half of them probably weren't even true. But Kurt was laughing and having a great time so it really didn't matter.

"So is your name as pretty as your face?" A tall, blonde man appeared out of the blue and handed Gabriel a drink, who accepted eagerly. And Kurt was sure he had took that pick-up line from The Simpsons Movie. After a few moments of flirting they both took off. "You don't mind, do you Kurt?"

"Of course not. Have fun."

"Believe me, we will."

And now Kurt was alone at the bar with an empty glass.

"Here." Somebody was handing _him _a drink?

"Um... thank you. But... why exactly?" Kurt was so confused. Something like that had never happened to him.

"I saw you had run out of alcohol, thought I'd fix that."

"Um...thanks. That's very... thoughtful of you." Kurt was trying to be polite and not to show how weird this seemed to him.

"Ron. My name's Ron." And Kurt thought he was kidding him because that red hair was screaming for his last name to be Weasley.

"Kurt."

"How are you, Kurt?"

"Not bad. And you?"

"Oh, I'm great. So tell me, Kurt, are you from New York?"

"I wish! I'm from Lima, Ohio."

"And what brings you to the city that never sleeps?"

"Insomnia?" They both laughed and kept talking for a while until "Dance with me?"

"Eh... Sure..." A little dance wouldn't hurt. Besides, he was having fun, and that was what matter and... WOW... the floor was spinning and his head was fuzzy...

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah... too many drinks I think."

And before he could even notice they were at the dance floor, his feet completly independent from the rest of his body. He was sure his dance moves weren't exactly flawless at the time, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was so relax. Maybe a little too relax because then... oh... ok... hands on his waist... a little more to the south as well. Maybe they had had enough dance for the night.

"I-I think have to get going now."

"And I think you should stay, baby." Since when Kurt was his 'baby'?

"No... I mean it. I have to go. It was nice meeting you."

And then there was a hand holding his wrist tightly and dragging him out of the dance floor and into a very dark corner. Wait-what? No. He needed to go right now.

"What are you d-

Kurt was cut by strong lips colliding with his and pressing his body against the brick wall. This felt... strange. So different from what he was used to. Blaine was always so gentle and sweet and oh my God, BLAINE. No. No. This was wrong, so wrong. What was he doing? He tried to push Ron away but all he got were more fierceful kisses. He managed to break the kiss and speak.

"No. Let me go. I don't want to do this. I have a boyfriend!" And he hated himself for how shaky and breatheless he sounded.

"What's wrong, baby? Aren't you having fun?" Shit. He thought this kid would be an easy fuck. And now he was chicken out?

"I'm not your baby and I'm not having fun! Get off me!" And Kurt pushed him again.

Ok. That was how he wanted to play? Fine. They would play dirty, then. He grabbed Kurt more firmly and managed to get him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"What the hell are you doing? Let me out! Now!"

"Shh... Relax, baby. There's no reason for you to scream. Not that anyone would hear you anyway with the music so loud." And he chuckled. The sound hitting Kurt's ears and sending shivers of panic down his spine. He was so scared.

"Please... let me out." Do. Not. Cry.

Kurt was feeling more dizzy each passing minute. The entire room spinning and every sound echoing inside his head. How could he be so drunk with only a few drinks?

But then Kurt's brain shutted down as he was pressed against a wall again. Demanding kisses, uncaring hands. Anywhere, _everywhere_. No. No. No.

After a few moments of fighting for freedom, Kurt froze. That the exact last thing we wanted to do. He felt a hand undoing his pants and the other one pulling his shirt open. Panic attacked his body and he couldn't breathe. No. No. NO NO NO NO!

"Please... no... please..." Tears were blurring his vision but he couldn't held them back.

"Shh. Just relax, baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good."

Before he could react his pants -and his briefs- were down his hips, as well as the other guy's. When had that happened?

Kurt mentally slapped himself and started fighting himself free again. It was useless. His movements were sloppy and weak. He felt like if he was falling asleep. Unfortunately not soon enought, because after unsuccessfully trying to scape again, it was happening. He could still hear the other man's breatheless laughter behind the sound of his own sobs. He cried out desperately, but nobody could hear him. Nobody could help him. _Nobody_.

All he could remember were strong fingers holding his hips. Unloving lips sucking on his neck and then... nothing. Kurt wasn't sure when exactly had he lost consciousness as we was woken up in that horrible bathroom by a horrified-looking man.

"Hey! Hey! What happened to you? Are you ok?"

"I... He..." His head felt as if it was breaking in half. His clothes were a mess. His pants were still a little down his waist and his shirt was pulled open.

"Don't move. I'll go get help." And with those words he left the tiny bathroom and Kurt could feel himself falling asleep again. He fought to stay awake until we felt rushed steps aproching towards him and then he zoned out again in the hope that he was actually waking up from a nightmare.

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><p>The bright lights of the hospital room burned as Kurt woke up and tried to open his eyes. A young doctor aproached him with a sympathetic smile. "Hello, I'm Dr. Turner. How do you feel?" He said in a quite voice.<p>

"My head hurts."

"Can you tell me your name?" He asked very routinely.

"Kurt Hummel."

"Do you know where you are, Kurt?

"At a h-hospital?"

"Yes Kurt, you passed out earlier. Do you remember what happened?"

Kurt's brain started working faster than ever. Flashback images invading his mind as tears began to form in his eyes.

"I-I was at the bar and this... this guy attacked me and... and I tried to stop him but I was feeling so w-weak..."

"It's ok. You're safe now." The doctor attempted to calm him down. He waited a little before he continued to speak. "Kurt, I need you to answer me this, ok? Did this man sexually attacked you?"

The words echoed inside his head and it was just too much. "...n-no..." He couldn't. He just couldn't _admit_ it. And, just like that, it all became so overwhelming for Kurt.

"How old are you, Kurt?" It almolst seemed like he was changing the subject.

"19" He wasn't crying any more but his breathing was shaky and fast.

"And where do you live, Kurt?" It was unnerving the way he constantly repeated his name.

"I live in Brooklyn."

"Kurt, is there somebody you'll like me to call to pick you up?"

"B-Blaine..."

"I'm sorry?"

"Blaine... my boyfriend."

"Ok. Can you give me his number?"

And, while Kurt recited Blaine's phone number that he knew by heart, he could only think about their last conversation and how much he had wanted to tell Blaine about the bar and asked him to join him and Gabriel. Gabriel... what a friend.

_"I'm serious, Blaine! You could totally rock a pair of pink sunglasses!"_

_"Oh, come on, Kurt!"_

_"Believe want you want... but I'm right."_

_"Speaking of you being right. Remember how you told me we should go out more?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"How about a movie? Tonight. And then we can... have dinner in a... very romantic restaurant I know and... I don't know... have dessert... at my place..." Blaine had approached closer to Kurt with each word and now the distance between their lips was almost non-existent._

_"That sounds great..." Oh, how he wished he could say yes. "But... I can't tonight."_

_"Oh..." But they hadn't had a proper date in weeks!_

_"I know, I know. Let's have luch together. I don't have classes tomorrow so... he can still come here for dessert if you want..." A nooner? Good, good, good._

_"I love how you think." Blaine said with a wide smile on his still unshaved face._

_"And I love you." Kurt pressed a small kiss on Blaine's lips._

_"I love you too."_

And now everything would change and -Had somebody spoken?

"I'm sorry?"

"I said that I couldn't locate your boyfriend, I'm sorry."

"Um... it's ok..."

"Are you sure you can go home by yourself?"

"Yeah..."

But he didn't went home. He needed to talk to Blaine as soon as possible. Kurt needed his boyfriend. Kurt needed him to kiss away the pain and the shame...

"Hi! What are you doing here? I thought we weren't meeting until lunch today."

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><p>Kurt arrived to his apartment and luckily Rachel wasn't home. He got into the shower and furiously tried to wash away the sensation of the other man's lips, the finger tip marks on his hips while sobbing non-stop.<p>

After 3 hours he finally got out, stood naked in front of the mirror and was able to examinate his body for the first time. It was horrible. Apart from the fact that he was sore, a reminder of what had happenen at every step he made, the finger tip marks were still on his hips and on his shoulders, his back had scratches and, oh _God_, there was hickey next to his nipple.  
>The sight was so devastating that it made him vomit. Over and over again, until there was nothing left in his stomach.<br>Kurt cried himself to sleep. It was only noon but he hadn't slep at all and was exhausted.

He was woken up by Rachel greeting him as she entered the apartment.

"Oh my God! You look awful! What happened?" Rachel... always so subtle.

The boy tried to avoid talking about that for a moment but gave up after he realized Rachel wouldn't stop. He cried again as he told his friend about the living hell he had gone through the night before. Rachel cried a little, too, horrified at Kurt's words.

"Kurt... honey... you need to tell the police."

"No. I can't. I simply can't, Rachel. Please, I just want to forget it. Please..."

"And... did you talk to Blaine?"

"Yeah... kind of..."

"And what happened?"

"I... we... we had a fight and I-I think we broke up..." And the tears came back. Rachel's jaw drop at his words, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Just... I'll explain it to you better in the morning. I just want to sleep now."

"Um... s-sure. Goodnight, Kurt."

"Goodnight, Rach.

Rachel waited until she was certain Kurt had fallen sleep before she got out of the apartment. _How dare he? After everything Kurt had been through! _She for sure had a few things to say to Blaine...


	3. Chapter 3

Take Good Care Of My Heart

A/N: Fisrt of all, I'm so sorry for super long wait! I really couldn't find time to just sit and write, even though I had the whole chapter in my head!

No, I don't hate Blaine or Kurt. I just like angst! :)

Enjoy!

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

Blaine was removed from bed by a furious knock on his door.

"What the hell, Blaine?"

"Excuse me?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing'!"

"Until a moment ago I was trying to sleep!" _Trying..._ Because he had been in bed for two hours unable to sleep, his mind unable to just _shut up_.

"I can't belive you..." Rachel sounded more calm now. Like if the rage had been replaced by disbelief and sadness.

Blaine didn't say anything. He already knew what she was talking about.

"How could you do that to Kurt? How could you hurt him like that?" Ok... anger again.

"Please, Rachel! Why are you blaming me about this?" And now Blaine was also yelling because he was really, really tired of thinking about Kurt, and what he had done, and about the fact that they had _broken up_.

"Because my best friend is home crying his heart out and it's all _your_ fault!"

"It's not my fault that he decided to go sleep around at bars!" No. Wait. Why did he say that? No no no. Take it back! Take it back!

Too late.

"How dare you?"

Rachel aproached him furiously and _slapped_ him. An angry, open-handed slap.

Blaine could only stare at her as she left the apartament.

Rachel was so fucking angry! But, most of all, she was disappointed. Blaine wasn't the man she thought he was. He had abandoned Kurt at his weakest hour. Although, at the same time, she was glad. Kurt could do better. So much better than a selfish bastard who didn't care about him, didn't love him. Not enough, not the way Kurt deserved.

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><p><em>Time can pass so slowly when you feel so all alone<em>

Blaine felt angry, confused, hurt, sad...

Blaine felt like shit.

He didn't understand how Kurt had done something like that. Had _he_ done something to Kurt? Had there been signs he hadn't see? Kurt wouldn't have cheated if he still loved him. How could somebody change so much, so fast?

And it hit him.

Kurt hadn't changed. He had just stopped pretending...

Could it be it? Just like that? Of course it was. How could Blaine had been so stupid?  
>Those shy smiles and fearful eyes, they were all good acting. Those soft touches and gentle kisses, all poisoned hooks. Those sweet words of affection and devotion, all empty promises. Every 'I love you', the cruelest of lies.<p>

Blaine collapsed on the couch, trying with every tear to wash Kurt off his mind, to stop the pain, to end his love for the other boy.  
>Half an hour later he sat upright on the couch and there it was, looking at him, mocking him: Kurt's note on the table.<p>

_I hope you know how much I love you. _

How could he? Lie to him like that? To his face! Wasn't everything else torture enough?

* * *

><p>When the night came it all became worse. Kurt jumped at every sound, flinched at every touch. He was lying in bed, unable to close his eyes. It was too terrifying. He had fallen asleep two hours ago, only to wake up sweaty, screaming and crying from the worst nightmare of his life, which had actually happened less than 24hs ago.<p>

Although he was too tired and lost his battle not long after, his living hell replaying in his mind. This time he grabbed his phone and pressed #1 on speed dial. _Blaine._

_"Hello?"_ Blaine aswered sleepy without even looking at the caller ID.

Kurt let out a sob before taking a deep breath.

"I... I wanted to hear to voice..."

_"Kurt?"_

"I love you so much, Blaine."

_"What are you doing, Kurt?"_ Stop lying, stop lying!

"I told you... I need to talk to you. Please, Blaine..."

_"Why are you doing this to me?"_ Do. Not. Cry.

"Please, Blaine... I need you."

_"Kurt..."_

"I need you so much..."

_"No... You're on your own." _And he hung up with a sharp pain in his chest.

Kurt DROPPED his phone to the floor and cryed through the night, wishing he could just _die, _as a life without Blaine wasn't one that was worth living.

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><p><em>I love you more than I should<em>

_But it keeps me feeling so good_

The calls kept going for a few more days. Kurt would call crying, begging, only to get a similar response, only to get his heart broken all over again.

Rachel insisted that he should report it to the police. She didn't, though, mentioned Blaine again and Kurt honestly forgot to tell her the whole story.  
>But the police was out of the question. Every minute he felt more and more embarrassed and disgusted with himself, so ashamed. He had been so stupid to let than man get him drunk (or worse, drugged), to let him flirt and dance and kiss him. This was all Kurt's fault! And he was too weak to admit it. He was a screw up who always fucked up everything good in his life. It was only a matter of time before he had to go and ruin what he had with Blaine.<p>

Blaine...

Blaine was too good for him. He had always known that. How had he managed not to screw it up for almost 3 years? Maybe Kurt should give up on trying to explain what happened, let Blaine move on with his life. Kurt was just a screw up and didn't deserve Blaine... Yet, he needed him so much.

* * *

><p>Blaine couldn't handle it any more. How he wished he could take everything back, let himself love and be loved again. But he couldn't. He couldn't get back what had never been his. 'He's lying' he would repet to himself over and over again. Rejecting Kurt like that everyday was killing him, slowly ripping his soul apart. He neened to put an end to it.<p>

Kurt reluctantly got up from the couch as he heard a knock on his door

"Blaine!" Kurt threw himself to hug his boyfriend, his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend, without the intention of letting him go, never, ever.

"Uh... Kurt..." Blaine not only didn't hug him back, but actually pulled him away.

"Oh my God, Blaine! I'm so happy you came! Please, we need to talk-"

"No, Kurt. I'm not here to talk."

"But-"

"Please, just let me say this."

"O-Ok..." Kurt tried to stay calm.

Blaine took a deep breath. "We can't keep doing this. It's not fair! I can't keep longing for what is not there and never will be."

What did he mean by that? Kurt was so puzzled. "Blaine, honey..."

"What you did... Kurt, hurted me more than I ever thought it was possible. And you know why?" Kurt shook his head 'no', tears already forming in his eyes. "Because I loved you more than I ever thought it was possible." Blaine was looking everywhere but Kurt's eyes.

"W-What are you saying?" Kurt asked holding back a sob.

"I came here to... to officially b-break up with you." Blaine said as the first tear rolled down his cheek. "Please... Don't look for me, don't call me any more... It's the least you can do..." And with that Blaine left, leaving Kurt crying hopelessly at the door of his apartament. He fell to the floor, hugged his legs and sank his head betweet his knees.  
>And that was it. No more Blaine, no more love, no more hope.<p>

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><p>AN: Ups... Too angsty? Never fear, things will get better in the next chapter... probably.

Please review! I really really want to know what you think! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Take Good Care Of My Heart

A/N: I have absolutely_ no excuse_ for how long this took. Seriously, I'm incredibly sorry it took me this long. I know it's not an excuse, but I had a pretty rough family situation, it really affected me so I wasn't in the mood for writing angst because I had plenty of it in my life already, so that prevented me for writing for several weeks. And if you add my usual writers block... this what you get.

This chapter is a little song-ish, but is something I wanted to do. Let me know what you think of the songs and if I should keep using songs in future chapters.

I'm thrilled with the reviews and story alerts and story favorites! Again, so, so sorry this took so long!

This chapter is dedicated to my super awesome friend Juliet! This chapter wouldn't have been possible without her! :)

Chapter 4

Rachel was worried.  
>This was the third time this week that Kurt had arrived to the apartment at 3am... high, after she had came back from an audition to find Kurt sobbing hopelessly at the door. She had knew what was going on right away, having recognized it from years pasted, when they were still in High School and Kurt was having trouble with the constant bullying. He had only done it once, though. He had told Rachel one day that he had thought about doing it again, but Blaine had talked him out of it.<p>

This time was different, though. Not only Kurt didn't have Blaine to take care of him, but now he was on something else. Not marijuana like the last time, something heavier. Rachel had found a needle tossed in the bathroom floor.

"Kurt! Honey, I was so worried! Where were you?" She asked as soon as her friend crossed the door.

"Out." Kurt hissed.

"Kurt... Talk to me, please!"

"And what would you like to talk about, Miss Berry?" He asked sarcastically.

"Please, Kurt... Don't do this to yourself."

The pale boy ignored her plea and started walking unsteadily to his room.

"Don't push me away!" She called after him. "You need me, Kurt. Let me help you."

"Well I'm sorry to inform you that you can't! You can't help me, Rachel! _Nobody_ can!" Kurt was yelling with tears forming in his eyes.

"You're wrong, honey. Maybe _I_ can't help you, but there are people who can if you'd just let them-" Kurt's humorless laugh cut her off.

"Yeah, right! Like they give'd a damn!"

Rachel's heart ached for his friend. The way he talked down about himself.

"Kurt... You know you have to report it. You need to get help so you can come to terms with what happened and regain control of your life. You've still got a life, Kurt! A very long, happy, love-full one that is just out there waiting for you to live it."

Kurt stared at his shorter friend for a moment, turning around again and yelling back at her just before closing the door to his room behind his back.

"I wouldn't be so sure!"

* * *

><p>She knew what she had to do. She wasn't particularly proud of it, but it had to be done.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wow, I... I don't know what to say, B... I would never have thought that Kurt could be capable of something like that." The older man sputter after Blaine had finished explaining everything that had went down in the past three weeks.<p>

"That's the thing, Cooper! He's not the person we thought he was. He was lying to us all along!" A tired-looking Blaine responded.

"Wait so you're saying he's actually a lier and a cheater but fooled us all for almost 3 years? That sounds a little..."

"I'm telling you, Coop. This is the real Kurt..." Blaine sighed and looked defeated. "It has to be."

There was silence for a moment before Cooper spoke. "That's it. We're out of here."

"But- Coop what do you-"

"No 'but'. I'm taking you out of this apartament."

"Why? I don't really feel like going-"

"_Why?_ Because it's depressing and lonely and depressing some more!"

"I-"

"No, no. I'm not asking. I'm your big brother and you'll do as I say." Cooper said with a hint of a grin. The satisfaction of reminding Blaine that he was older never got old.

An hour later they were entering a crowded club and Cooper was ordering drinks for them both. After the second round of beers Cooper informed Blaine that he should go on stage then, as it was open mic night.

"What? No way. Have you lost your mind?"

"Not at all. I want you to go up there and sing. As you're not really telling how you feel you're gonna go there and sing it. Sing how you feel, B." The older brother said seriously.

Blaine hesistated for a moment before noding and aproaching the small stage. He said something to the DJ, who just nodded, and took the microphone. He closed his eyes as the music started, as if to stop the tears that hadn't form in his eyes yet but were sure to come.

_You have a way of coming easily to me  
>And when you take, you take the very best of me<em>

He still remember the first time he had seen Kurt, and how he had willingly given up his heart for that boy.

_So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel somethin'  
>And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted<em>

Kurt had cheated because Blaine wasn't good enough. He was a dissapointment.

_Oh, what a shame  
>What a rainy ending given to a perfect day<br>Just walk away,  
>no use defending words that you will never say<em>

Kurt didn't love him. Had never loved him. Would never love him. Because, who would want Blaine? He was just some naive romantic, completely worthless.

_And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through,  
>I've never been anywhere cold as you<em>

Kurt had been so cruel, so heartless...

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
>And I stood there lovin' you and whished them all away<br>And you come away with a great little story  
>of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you<em>

He had been there for Kurt at his lowest, giving him the courage he probably didn't even have himself. And what did he get? Memories of a lie and a broken heart.

_You never did give a damn thing, honey  
>But I cried, cried for you<em>

It hurted so much saying those words and knowing they were true.

_Oh, what a shame  
>What a rainy ending given to a perfect day<br>Every smile you fake is so condescending  
>Counted all the scars you made<em>

Blaine had thought everything was right in his life, perfect even. But he had been wrong. How thoughtful of Kurt to give him three years of faked happiness and love. But now Blaine was scarred for life. How could he ever let himself love again? There was just too much to lose.

_Now that I'm sittin' here thinking it through  
>I've never been anywhere cold as you<em>

The song ended softly and he couldn't hold the tears back any longer. He run off the stage and barely said goodbye to Cooper before leaving the club full of eyes staring at him.

* * *

><p>Kurt was done. With everything.<p>

He was done with pretending, done with caring about what anyone said. And he was done with Blaine. Done with crying about him, and calling him, and wishing he could have the courage to tell him what happened so they could be together again.

He was done with Blaine... excep he wasn't.

Kurt needed Blaine more than ever and couldn't see how he could get out of this one without him.  
>He knew the drugs weren't the solution, but they helped. They made everything numb, and that was what Kurt wanted in that moment. Because if he couldn't feel Blaine's love then he didn't want to feel anything else.<p>

_Don't leave me in all this pain  
>Don't leave me out in the rain<br>Come back and bring back my smile  
>Come and take this tears away<em>

So he was lying on his bed, crying, just like the day before, and the day before that. And he was singing, because that seemed to be the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

_I need your arms to hold me now  
>The nights are so unkind<br>Bring back those nights when I  
>held you beside me<em>

He sang ever so quietly as tears streamed down his cheeks and he held back a heartbreaking sob.

_Un-break my heart  
>Say you'll love me again<br>Undo this hurt that you caused  
>When you walked out the door<br>And walked out of my life  
>Un-cry these tears<br>I cried so many nights  
>Un-break my hear, my heart<em>

He cried even harded as he thought about the fact that Blaine would never come back, no matter how much he wished, how much he sang. He didn't love him anymore. Because Kurt was worthless, didn't deserve Blaine.

_Take back that sad word good-bye  
>Bring back the joy to my life<br>Don't leave me here with this tears  
>Come and kiss this pain away<em>

Kurt's head was spinning from the drugs he'd cosumed, the fact that he hadn't eaten all day, and from his brain that kept going non-stop. It was trying to convince him that this was all _his_ fault._ He _had gone to the bar. _He_ had drink and danced with that man. _He_ han't had the courage to tell Blaine. _He_ should just drop dead and make the world a favor...

_Un-break my heart  
>Sweet darlin'<em>

...make himself a favor.  
><em><br>Without you I just can't go on  
>Can't go on<em>

* * *

><p>There's a quiet knock on the door and Blaine was tempet to just stay in bed and not answer. But his need to please people won his inner battle and he aswered the door, only to find a rather uncertain Rachel.<p>

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" He asked with annoyance. The last he needed was another drama.

"First of all you should know that I wouldn't be here if it weren't absolutely necessary. Second, I don't wish to talk to you, but I'm doing this for Kurt. And Third, if he ever meant anything to you, you'll listen to what I have to say. All right?"

Blaine stared at her for a moment, trying to process everything she had said. What the hell was going on? Had something happen?

"I guess?" He tried, still unsure.

Rachel sighed and asked to come inside. Once they were sitted on the couch Rachel took a deep breath and tried to be as direc as she could. "I need you help. Actually, Kurt does."

Great. Just what he needed. Why couldn't they let him move on at last? "I don't see how I can help him."

"You know you can. He won't listen to me. You're the only one he trusts." Rachel tried to stay calmed, as much as she wanted nothing but to slap the bastard again for causing his best friend so much pain.

"Yeah, right. I can see that. He obviously treasures what we had." Blaine snapped sarcastically.

"Yes, Blaine. And that's why I'm here. You need to convince him to report it."

"What are you talking about? Report what?"

"Is this some kind of sick joke? Because if it is-"

"Rachel, I have no idea what you're talking about! What does he need to report? Was he robbed or something?"

"You... are you serious?" Rachel's eyes went wide with disbelief.

"Yes, Rachel. Could you please tell me what's going on?"

"Blaine, I-I thought you knew..."

"Know what? Rachel, you're scaring me, please. Did... did something happen to Kurt?"

"Blaine... that night, at the bar... Kurt was... he-he was r-raped."

* * *

><p>AN: CLIFFHANGER! I know, I know... I'm a bad person. I make you wait forever and then this...

Not only that, but I even have the nerve to ask you:

Reviews? :)

The songs used here were "Cold As You" by Taylor Swift and "Un-Break My Heart" by Toni Braxton.


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